HURT.

I've been seriously putting some major thought into this... Of all the things that could hurt in this world, physically, emotionally, and mentally... I really think that emotional hurt is the one that does the most damage.  In retrospect, physical and mental pain lasts momentarily and at one point or another, the pain becomes numb or one grows accustom to the pain or the pain really does slowly dissipate.  

However, something emotionally traumatizing and emotionally hurtful can last for a lifetime.  One can often wonder how emotional baggage from one's childhood can haunt a person even as they're entering their prime years in adulthood.  This type of hurt sticks with a person for years, decades, and maybe unfortunately, a lifetime.  Who can honestly say that they can't remember their first love? The first time you got your heart broken?  Things like this don't just fade away.  Time does ease the pain and maybe the memories aren't like loud sirens blaring anymore, but surely they're still there hidden in some old dusty chest ready to be reopened when your heart gets broken again or when simply life takes its toll and stroll down to memory lane is the only thing that can bring back some sense of familiarity into your life.

Who knows. But I for one, really have realized that my actions and words can do a lot of damage when I'm angry.  I say a lot of things I don't mean and I commit inconsiderate acts with or without the intention to show my anger and hurt.  However, it's really hit me recently that once something is done or once those words are said, there is really NO way to take em back.  Sadly, life is NOT like a chalkboard where a mistake can be erased with ease.  I'm beginning to think that life is like a Sharpie on a whiteboard.  Once you write something, it's staying there for a good chunk of time.  As hard as you may to try and erase those marks, it'll take a long time, and despite all that effort, other people will still be able to see those previous marks. 

It's so easy to come up with times where someone has said something hurtful about you.  In fact, it comes with too much ease to locate the time and place and the face that called you names or said something derogatory.  Yet, how many of us can pinpoint the exact times someone paid us a compliment.  It's just so much easier to come up with the negative than to reflect on the positive.  I definitely don't want to be remembered by someone as the girl who spewed nothing, but insults.  Besides, lately within the past few weeks, I have endured too much and experienced too much of all this negativity and hurtful things being said. It's definitely something anyone or I should be dealing with.

I once heard of a phrase that made so much sense.  It goes something like this:

There is already so much hurt going on in this world. Why do we feel compel to add more hurt to someone else's life.  Sometimes an act of kindness or a good deed can go a long way and you never know whose life you may have changed or impacted with such a small gesture.

Isn't that the truth though? I know it's a lot easier said than done, but it's worth giving the effort. I can't say I'm going to be saintly from now because I can not be remotely anywhere near that, but the best I can do is try so that people who I do come in contact with can feel like they can always come to me regardless of their situation. :) that's all. life lesson 101 from my end of the spectrum as I'm contemplating on how to wrap up my policy paper that's been way long overdue.